The story my Google Search History tells

Being an author (ahhhh, I love how that sounds),crime I sometimes wonder what would happen if I died suddenly and inexplicably, and the suspicious death squad was called in to investigate. I imagine one of the first places they would look is on my computer. After all, I spend at least 50% of my life on here. My search history tells a curious story.

In my parent guise, I have searched on such intriguing topics as:

  • What is a regular shape?
  • WA school holiday dates
  • Archeology clubs online

In my copywriter/communications consultant guise I’ve searched on:

  • Goat voucher gift
  • Seachange locations WA
  • iPad mini price

And in my novelist guise I’ve searched for:

  • Sad blonde Amish girl
  • Do British soldiers click heels?
  • Hypersensitivity to music

And these were just in the last four days.

I know most people’s search history would be (almost) as eclectic and weird – sometimes even more so. But these items did get me thinking about some of the theories Detective Lloyd Grosvenor, Suspicious Deaths Division, would come up with when the IT people slapped my search history down on his desk (God rest my soul).

Detective Grosvenor’s Notebook

Victim seeking remote location – maybe somewhere to hide? Mentions seachange (somewhere new where people don’t know her) and kids’ holiday dates. Planning to escape somewhere with her family? Also in the market for some new technology – iPad mini. Portable device … easy to take with her. 

Interested in archeology. Victim may have found out about an artefact – something valuable, possibly from wartime? Something of irregular or regular shape (possibly a medal or part of soldier’s shoe).

Suspect: blonde young woman (Amish?) perhaps met locally online (shared interest in archeology?). Artefact was in possession of this Amish girl? Described as sad. Sad, why? Victim stole something from her? Would explain the need for victim to disappear.

Victim offers to trade artefact for goat? (agricultural gifts of high value to Amish community… may have tricked Amish girl into trading valuable artefact). Suspect’s achilles heel is hypersensitivity to music – victim exploits this weakness which pushes Amish girl over the edge – provoked attack? Revenge killing?

Find sad Amish girl. She is the key.

Good luck, Detective Grosvenor!

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